When sin leads to suffering...

Friends, I come to you today with a heavy heart. Jesus is moving in my life like nothing that I have ever experienced before. However, in that movement, He is having to heal some broken places in me. When I tried to bandage them myself, they didn't heal correctly and created a bunch of scar tissue that formed a hardened heart. However, He is so faithful to come in, open up the wound, and apply pressure to it so that I don't bleed out (which is my natural inclination). During that time, it hurts like crazy, but I know that it's all part of His healing. I know that eventually, it won't hurt so badly and that He will lightly bandage it, creating room for His love to flow into it and heal it correctly over time.

I never realized how I could still be in such captivity as a follower of Christ. I know that He came to set the captives free, but I haven't been walking in that freedom. I have been living in bondage that has been in my life for a long time, some before I was even born. However, His healing of my heart is truly setting me free. I don't have to deal with feelings of unworthiness because I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that He finds me worthy. I don't have to deal with abandonment because He will never leave me or forsake me. I don't have to deal with deception because He is the same yesterday, today, and forevermore. It is no coincidence that I had it on my heart to write about the character of God yesterday. Daddy God knew that I would be fighting the enemy today trying to lie to me about who I am and how He feels about me.

Last night, I had to own up to a sin that I had committed. At the time that I did it, it didn't seem like a big deal. However, the Holy Spirit brought a strong conviction to me and I was up front with the person about my sin against them. For that, I am reaping some consequences. The Lord is so faithful, though. He uses ever sin, every shame, and every evil deed for His glory in some way. It's amazing how He can work things together for our good. If anything, this experience has made me so thankful for people that He has placed in my life that love me, despite my sin and my selfish nature. I am so blessed to have people that truly want to see me grow in Christ and push me to do so.

Today, I am thankful for Your conviction. I no longer desire to live in bondage, wrapped up in the cords of sin. Thank you for making me aware of my weaknesses and helping me to be honest with myself and other about them. You are so faithful.

Love you with  my whole heart.